Marriage is a Covenant, Not a Contract

Marriage is a Covenant, Not a Contract                                     

Jared Rolfes

Maplegate Christian Fellowship

October 5, 2025

Introduction: 

• My Wedding - VOWS of Marital Covenant

  • Ring is circular- forever commitment.

  • Rich and Poor, Sickness and Health

  • Until death do us part

• In 2009 Chloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom signed a pre-nuptial agreement that entitled her to a brand new car whenever her lease was up, courtside Lakers tickets for her entire family, $5,000 monthly shopping allowance, $1,000 monthly allowance for beauty expenses, about $25,000 monthly spousal support, and an additional $500,000 for every year of marriage. They divorced in 2016.

Marriage is a COVENANT, not a CONTRACT

Malachi 2:14 (NIV)

"The Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth... she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."

The American Culture has altered the Biblical idea of marriage to become contract based. 

Our individual pursuit of Christ, Relationship with Christ, and living for Christ is Priority #1

Allows us to live in UNION/HARMONY w/ a God fearing spouse - NOT ALWAYS PERFECT!

Warren Zeiders - Only Bible:

If I’m the only Bible that you ever read

The only revival that you ever see

No, I ain’t Jesus and I’ll never be

Take me as I am, somewhere in between

Broken and saved, take a page from a sinner like me

If I’m the only bible that you ever read. 

Allow Your life to be an overflow of Christ for others to see and model

Then allow your marriage to be an overflow for others to see and model

Charlie Kirk’s life was discussed last week - His legacy for Christ

He used his platform to share not just patriotism but Truth and Biblical standards

His life was a representation of Christ he was passionate about the Biblical design of family. 

Charlie Kirk Quote:

“Get Married. Have Children. Build a legacy. Pass down your values. Pursue the eternal. Seek true joy.”

• CK was passionate about his Faith and patriotism. 

• CK was also passionate about Biblical marriage and God’s design for family. 

• One of his goals was to see revival in American Families…

• American Culture has eroded Biblical marriage at its core. 

• In Vows we say:  “UNTIL DEATH DUE US PART” which is essentially a covenant.

• Has become a CONTRACT based on selfish ambitions and unmet expectations.

  • “As long as we both shall love.”

  • “As long as it works out.”

  • “As long as we’re happy.”

  • “Until it no longer serves us.”

  • “For as long as our love shall last.”

• Marriages have become contract based and not covenant based.

  
  

What’s the Difference Between a Contract and a Covenant?

Contract

• Nature: A contract is a legal agreement between two parties. IF … THEN …

• Basis: Built on mutual distrust — “I’ll hold up my end only if you hold up yours.”

• Focus: Rights, protections, and escape clauses.

• Duration: Can be broken if terms aren’t met.

• Example: An employment contract, rental agreement, lease agreement, service agreements, subscription agreements, or even a prenuptial agreement.

Covenant

• Nature: A covenant is a sacred, binding promise often sealed before God.

• Basis: Rooted in unconditional commitment and trust. Blending Law and Love.

• Focus: Relationship, faithfulness, and responsibility, not just personal rights.

• Duration: Intended to be permanent and enduring.

• Example: God’s covenant with Abraham (Genesis 15), the New Covenant in Christ’s blood (Luke 22:20), and marriage as a covenant (Malachi 2:14).

Key Difference

• Contract: If you do this, then I will do that.

• Covenant: Even if you fail, I will remain faithful.

5 COVENANTS IN THE BIBLE

1. The Noahic Covenant (Genesis 9:8–17)

• Genesis 9:12-13

• Who: God and Noah (and all creation).

• Promise: Never again will God destroy the earth by flood.

• Sign: The rainbow.

• Type: Unconditional. God's promise to preserve life and maintain the stability of creation, marked by the rainbow as a symbol of His mercy and faithfulness.

2. The Abrahamic Covenant (Genesis 12, 15, 17)

• Genesis 15:17-18

• Who: God and Abraham.

• Promise: Land (Canaan), descendants as numerous as the stars, and blessing to all nations through Abraham’s seed.

• Sign: Circumcision.

• Type: Unconditional. God alone passed through the animal pieces (Gen. 15:17), showing He would bear the covenant’s weight.

*** WE WILL DIVE INTO THIS COVENANT EVEN MORE IN JUST MOMENTS…

3. The Mosaic Covenant (Exodus 19–24)

• Exodus 19:5-6

• Who: God and Israel (through Moses).

• Promise: Israel would be God’s treasured possession, a kingdom of priests, and a holy nation.

• Condition: Israel must obey God’s law (the Ten Commandments and the wider law).

• Sign: The Sabbath.

• Type: Conditional. Blessings for obedience, curses for disobedience (Deut. 28).

  
  

4. The Davidic Covenant (2 Samuel 7:8–16; Psalm 89)

• 2 Samuel 7:16

• Who: God and King David.

• Promise: A descendant of David will sit on the throne forever.

• Fulfillment: Ultimately fulfilled in Jesus Christ, the Son of David and eternal King.

• Type: Unconditional. Even though David’s descendants sinned, God’s promise of a forever-kingdom stood firm.

  
  

5. The New Covenant (Jeremiah 31:31–34; Luke 22:20; Hebrews 8–10)

• Who: God and all who believe in Christ.

• Promise: Forgiveness of sins, new hearts, God’s law written within, intimate relationship with Him, eternal life.

• Sign: The blood of Jesus (communion/the Lord’s Supper).

• Type: Unconditional. Secured by Christ’s once-for-all sacrifice.

  
  

ABRAHAMIC COVENANT (IN GREATER DETAIL)

• Genesis 15 - God establishes covenant with Abraham 

• Done through a COVENANT CEREMONY - Ancient Ritual …

• GENESIS 15:10-18 (READ ON SCREEN)

  
  

The Covenant Ceremony (Genesis 15:9–17)

1. God’s Instruction

   • God told Abram: “Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon” (v. 9).

     
     

2. The Cutting of the Animals

   • Abram cut the larger animals (heifer, goat, ram) in half and arranged the halves opposite each other, forming a path.

   • The birds were not cut in half (v. 10).

   • This was the ancient practice of a “blood covenant”—two parties would walk between the divided carcasses down an aisle way, essentially making a vow..:

     
     

      “May what happened to these animals happen to me if I break this covenant.”

   • The Marriage tradition of walking down an aisle to form a marital covenant derives from this.

     
     

3. God’s Presence

   • Abram waited, driving away birds of prey (v. 11).

   • As the sun set, Abram fell into a deep sleep and a “thick and dreadful darkness” came over him (v. 12).

   • God spoke promises about Abram’s descendants, their time in Egypt, and their eventual deliverance (vv. 13–16).

     
     

4. The Smoking Firepot and Blazing Torch

   • After sunset, Abram saw “a smoking firepot with a blazing torch” pass between the pieces (v. 17).

   • These symbols represented God Himself.

   • SAME LANGUAGE as EXODUS 19:18 (Read on Screen)

   • Notice: Abram never walked through the pieces—only God did. This showed the covenant was unilateral. 

   • God bound Himself to keep the promise regardless of Abram’s failures. Does this sound familiar? (JESUS)

The Meaning of This Covenant Ritual

• In ancient times this ritual was deadly serious, breaking it meant invoking a curse on yourself.

• God took the full weight of the covenant upon Himself. Abram’s role was simply to believe (v. 6: “Abram believed the Lord, and He credited it to him as righteousness.”)

• This points forward to Christ—the ultimate covenant keeper who shed His blood for us when we broke the covenant.

WHY ARE YOU TELLING US ALL OF THIS….?

Marriage as Covenant, Not Contract

God’s Covenant with Abram: A Model for Marriage

Marriage, like God’s covenant with Abram, is not a casual arrangement. It is a sacred, binding agreement—witnessed and sealed by God Himself.

Walking between the pieces = “I will give my whole life to this.”

This image from Genesis reminds us that covenant demands total commitment. In marriage, it means we don't just offer part of ourselves—we give our whole lives.

God shows us that true covenant is not about convenience but about commitment—even sacrifice.

Contract vs. Covenant: What’s the Difference?

A contract-based marriage might sound like:

“I promise to stay with you as long as you provide, love me the way I want, or make me happy.”

This is conditional. Temporary. It’s based on performance and personal fulfillment.

But a covenant-based marriage sounds like:

“I promise to love, honor, and remain faithful—no matter what life brings.”

Covenant is rooted in the character of God. It’s not about what I can get, but what I’ve vowed to give.

Biblical Marriage is Covenant

Matthew 19:4-6 (READ ON SCREEN) – “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Jesus reaffirms that marriage is not a man-made contract—it is God-ordained covenant.

Traditional vows reflect this sacred promise:

• For better or for worse

• For richer or poorer

• In sickness and in health

• Until death do us part

These are not poetic phrases—they are covenant language.

The Problem with the Modern View

Too many marriages today are built on contract thinking, not covenant commitment. And contract-based marriages erode over time because they depend on feelings and conditions:

• “We no longer love each other.”

• “He’s not meeting my emotional needs.”

• “We just fell out of love.”

  
  

The truth? You didn’t fall out of love—you fell out of repentance and forgiveness.

What About Divorce?

Divorce was never God’s ideal. In Christian marriage, our sins and shortfalls were nailed to the cross—so we should never crucify each other.

That said, the Bible does give two specific grounds where divorce is permitted:

1. Adultery – Matthew 5:31–32

   • Physical unfaithfulness violates the covenant at its core. Even then, restoration should be pursued first if possible.

2. Abandonment by an Unbelieving Spouse – 1 Corinthians 7:15

   • In the early church, many women came to faith while their husbands didn’t. Paul teaches that if the unbeliever chooses to leave, the believer is not bound.

     
     

These are not commands to divorce, but permissions when covenant has been broken beyond reconciliation.

Final Word: Choose Covenant Every Day

Marriage is not sustained by romance or convenience—but by covenantal love, repentance, and grace.

In a covenant, we don’t fight against each other—we fight for each other.

In a covenant, we don't leave when it's hard—we lean on God's strength to stay.

So whether you're preparing for marriage, struggling in it, or thriving—remember this: Marriage isn’t about finding the right person; it’s about becoming the right covenant partner.

Let your “I do” be more than words spoken on a wedding day. Let it be a daily choice to reflect the love, faithfulness, and sacrifice of Christ to your spouse.